what the title says
Published on September 8, 2004 By webwitch In Welcome
hi! I don't know how many others have been in a situation similar to mine or if anyone has heard of a situation exactly like mine. This is the story: 4 years ago, This guy befriended me, and through him, I became acquainted with his friend. So I made 2 friends: A and B. I didn't think of guy A as anything more than a casual friend-which I was used to having-because we didn't have enough in common to establish a bond that was anything more than casual. Now guy B, we had a LOT in common and for the first 2 years, our time spent together would be with other friends so it was a little more than casual but still didn't know the impact of my friendship with him. The last year up until now is when this friendship with guy B got dangerous. One night, in the third year, I went out with him and his friends for a dinner-something we usually did. When I got home, I started thinking that maybe my feelings for guy B were deeper than I knew. So since that night I've been analyzing my feelings and trying to make sense of what they could mean. I got scared. I knew what was happening and it never happened before. I was falling in love. I didn't want it to happen but I know you can't help who you fall in love with and if you do your'e just lying to yourself. Also, that night somehow brought our friendship to a new level in how we spent time together. We started spending time together exclusively. I realized,(or so I thought), I was getting an opportunity to see where things stood with us so I tried asking. Guy B didn't want to talk about it and said that there would never be anything more than friendship. So I respected what he said and did nothing more to press the issue. One night, guy A told me that guy B told him that I was being pushy. Weeks went by, guy B ignored me, but somehow we ended up hanging out like we usually did like nothing happened. He expressed in a Christmas card how alike we were and that he enjoyed our friendship. I was very happy and also worried that he thought I didn't feel the same way. I did try to express what I felt about our friendship in a christmas card, but I thought it wasn't enough so, I went to the trouble of making a birthday card for him with some more expressions of what I felt. I included the card with his gift: a watch. He told me he really liked the watch but I was afraid the card was too much so I asked if it was, but he said he liked it, and that was that for the time being.
On 4th of July, me, guy B, his sister, and guy A went out to seaside to see the fireworks. Guy A told me that he has 2 cats and one gives him more attention than the other. So he was basically telling me to spend less time with guy B since guy A was aware of my feelings for guy B. I don't know if this means anything but later in the day, I caught guy B looking at me when I was with guy A. When I looked at guy B he looked away. Anyway, after that day there was nothing to suggest that there was anything wrong with my friendship with guy B. I was frustrated because I always had the feeling that guy B was keeping his true feelings for me from me, however I loved spending time with him so I didn't let it bother me. Last month, the night before my birthday, guy A, guy B, and a friend took me out for the usual birtday dinner. Everything was cool, but it did bother me a little that they did this on the night before my birthday and I was getting concerned that nothing would happen on my actual birthday, however I enjoyed myself because something was being done for me. I didn't get to talk to guy B exclusively like we usually do but I didn't worry because I knew he would make it his business to get a chance to. Before the dinner was over, however, guy A asked if I got everything I wanted for my birthday and not thinking I would be taken seriously I said I needed a watch. The drive home was sudden and I thought it was very odd for guy B to drop me off first when I thought he would make it his business to get me alone. I tried to put the worry out of my mind and thought he would call me the next day, but he didn't. I called to find out what happened and didn't get an answer. At that point I was already heartbroken and dissapointed and I still didn't know what was going on. I called guy A to find out what happened and he said he didn't know. He also told me that guy B and him think that I've been treating guy B like a boyfriend, guy A didn't believe me when I said he was wrong. Some friend, huh? Guy A also said that if he was guy B he would've taken advantage of the situation and try to have sex with me. It dawned on me that something shady was going on and he was part of it. A few days passed and I got an email from guy B saying that I upset him by saying that I wanted a watch. I apologized in my reply but still nothing. I got a call from guy A saying that my friendship with guy B was over and that I would most likely not hear from him again and that he would change his number. This upset me so much. Guy A said that I valued the friendship more than he did and that guy B was fed up with me supposedly treating him like a boyfriend. Some of the things that guy A said didn't make sense because I was under the impression from guy B that he did value the friendship as much as I did. Guy A said he wasn't talking on behalf of guy B and he again said that he would've taken advantage of the situation and try to have sex with me. Another week went by and I emailed guy B with an explanation of what my intentions were and when I still didn't hear from him, I called. He didn't answer and his number wasn't changed. I called guy A to interrogate him about what part did he play in this. Of course he said that he wasn't trying to be manipulative in any way and that he was sorry things turned out the way they did and that he was still friends with me. I didn't and still don't believe him. I got a email from guy B; I don't think it could even be called an email because he basically just made revisions to my explanation email. Anyway, he said that guy A had nothing to do with it. He said that somebody told him that I was telling people that he was my boyfriend. He said that it wasn't the fact that I wanted a watch but called to find out why he didn't call. At this point it's perfectly clear that the problem is there was a lot left unsaid and for some reason that night he finally got fed up and that's why a month has gone by and I still don't know if he'll ever talk to me again. I think it's safe to say that he doesn't know what he wants and I think guy A was just using that to his advantage. There's no way I can let go of this when guy B took my happiness away. I know I have a lot to learn and I think he does too, but I thought we could learn them together. I honestly thought I found my other half and now part of me is gone. Things can't go back to the way they were but we could learn from this and have a stronger friendship. I don't want to be a victim of a failed relationship, and when I say relationship, I mean the connection two people have.

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